Henry's Birth: My Home Birth Experience

On September 10th 2016 David and I welcomed our sweet baby Henry into this world. I had planned a natural (med free) birth at the Madison Birth Center for Liam but had to be transferred to the hospital due to decelerations in his heartbeat. Well an epidural, pitocin, and and some forceps later, Liam was born (finally!) I felt pretty good about my laboring experience with Liam. I never felt like I was in terrible pain and more importantly I felt safe and guided by my wonderful doula and midwife the entire time. It wasn't until I became pregnant with Henry that I realized I had a lot of feelings that hadn't been addressed. Did I fail? Can my body go through natural childbirth? Was I crazy for wanting to do this again, but this time at home?? Well, I'd like to share my second labor and birth with you. Because I am not a super mom, I'm just a regular mom who decided she'd try something again. I didn't take any special classes (besides our home birth class), or hypnobirthing, or really much prep of any kind. And when I realized Henry was on his way...I was genuinely freaked out. Still, he came. He was born at home. He was surrounded by the best people and it was absolutely amazing. 

**I will warn you, there are photos, and you may even see a bit of my boob *gasp!* don't worry...it's all natural ;)**

Before I begin, I'd like to tell you a little more about my labor with Liam.

Liam's Story
I went into labor on a Thursday evening and continued to have steady contractions every 10 minutes for the next 2 days. It wasn't until Saturday afternoon that things really started to pick up and my contractions started moving closer together. I had lost my mucous plug Friday afternoon so I was aware things would be moving forward, but just not as quickly as I had hoped. Around 2:30 p.m. we made our way to the birth center where I would continue to labor for the next 11 hours.

My water broke while I was at the birth center. Somewhere around 1 a.m. our midwife noticed Liam was experiencing decelerations in his heartbeat during contractions and felt it would be a good choice to move to the hospital, so that we could monitor how often these dips were actually happening. I arrived at the hospital, was hooked up to various machines, and then a slew of medical interventions took place. Since my contractions were starting to space out, and I was extremely exhausted, I decided to be given a bit of pitocin and an epidural so that my contractions could be brought back to a working pace and I could finally get some much needed sleep. A few hours later I had dilated from 7 cm to 9 cm, and a bit after that I was at +2 and ready to push. Two hours of pushing later, the heartbeat decelerations returned and we all knew it was time to help get Liam out.  Everything was lined up perfectly but for some reason he was taking his sweet time. I had a wonderful OB on call that night who sat down and talked with me about my options. He watched me push once and said everything looked great besides the decelerations, and suggested an assisted delivery. We both agreed a forceps delivery would be best, and moments later with one good push, Liam made it earth side. Born on April 21st, 2013 at 3:51 p.m.  I remember crying as he was brought up to my chest. It was over, I had made it to the end. Even though it wasn't the birth I pictured, and even though I'd need to do a lot of self reflection on how his labor and birth went, I felt pretty good. I had all the people I needed there. David was a rock star. My midwife was a rock star. Our doula was a rock star. And I was a super hero.

Now fast forward 3 years later and here I am coming face to face with the realization that Henry was starting his journey outward...I was freaked out.

Henry's Story
On Saturday, the day Henry was born, I noticed what I believed to be uncomfortable braxton hicks contractions. David and I were on our way to this huge consignment sale here in Madison to pick up some cloth diapers. I casually mentioned to David that I had had 3 of these contractions which were happening about every 15 minutes to which he replied, "You're doing a really bad job of ignoring it!" Honestly I just wanted to know if it was something real so I knew I should be ignoring it.

After a successful trip to the sale we headed over to meet my family for breakfast. I don't recall having any noticeable contractions at this time, but I could have been well distracted. We returned home and hung out for a bit before my friend Dominique came over for a little play date visit. We chatted up about what was happening. Re-told our birth story memories and just enjoyed each others company. It was great having her around but I couldn't shake the feeling that if labor was warming up I might not be ready. After Dominique left, David and I made a quick run out to target, just the two of us, while my Mom watched Liam. It was nice to get out and chat about how I was feeling. I found myself constantly looking back on my labor with Liam and how it had affected my confidence. I was so excited about my labor journey when everything started with Liam. I felt I could trust the process, trust my body, and just go with the flow. Liam's birth was a humbling experience. I realized that labor and birth is something that you can try your best to prepare for but it isn't a process you can control.

We talked through my concerns, my fears, and coming face to face with my insecurities. I did not feel prepared. This feeling would stay with me until I no longer had the ability to focus on those thoughts anymore.

When we got back to the house David had to run over to the hospital for work and I wasn't too thrilled with it. Something in me wanted David to stay and I didn't like the idea of him leaving me. I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea for me to go upstairs and lay down for a bit. Right after David had left for work I noticed that I was starting to make a humming noise with each contraction. I remember thinking how silly it was that I was already making noise since I thought it was probably just super early labor (if even that!). There was another part of me though that just went with what I felt was right. I know now that this was probably my primal brain kicking into gear. (thanks primal brain!!) I  tried my best to stay comfortable and relaxed while laying in bed, but with each contraction, and each low moan, I knew this had to be real labor. Even my cat was picking up on my signals as she wouldn't leave my side this entire time, and each contraction brought her racing over to me, licking and rubbing her head against my arms and shoulders. Looking back, it was a really sweet gesture, but at the time, it just made me more self conscious about what was to come.

I decided to go back downstairs and hang out with my mom on the couch. This was around 4 p.m. A few fairly uncomfortable and super low contractions later I casually texted our midwife Mary to say that I thought I was having strong braxton hicks, coming on every 10 minutes or so, but still off and on. I also mentioned that with each contraction I could feel the baby's head and hands moving around very low in my pelvis which I considered to be a reason why these light contractions felt so uncomfortable. Mary told me to just live my life. Stay fed and hydrated, and to rest  and hang out. If something started picking up or changing, to let her know, and if not, just to let it go.

Now remember when I said I wasn't feeling very confident and that I was experiencing a lot of anxiety because I didn't know what was going to happen? I really want to make this point clear  because I felt like these feelings were all disadvantages and that they would really affect my ability to labor smoothly and effectively. Turns out that I had been dealing with these feelings all day, revisiting how it felt to be unsure, but made the choice to move forward. You can feel unsure and have labor move along smoothly. Both of my labors proved this to me. I just didn't get it until now. I'm sure being home, in a comfortable place, with my family helped me to keep my anxiety manageable. Not to mention the constant support I received through David...my #1 cheerleader!

Here are screen caps from the texts I sent to David before heading up to the bath:

What a great guy, am I right? ♥!!

Around 5 p.m. I left the couch and headed up to the bath. I knew I needed something to keep me distracted while David was away, and watching T.V. just wasn't cutting it. Before getting into the bath I saw that I started to lose my mucous plug. I'm pretty sure that's when I came face to face with the truth...this baby was coming and I wasn't ready. I let out a big sigh and got into the bath. Madeline was still by my side, meowing comforting meows my way, but all I could think about was when David would be home. It's funny looking back on my feelings now. I should have recognized that my brain was picking up on the urgency of my labor. It would be just a few more hours before we would meet our sweet Henry.

David arrived back home a little after 6, I was already out of the bath by then and laying back on our bed with Madeline. I told David again how I was not ready for this, how I felt totally unprepared and if this were a flight or fight moment...I couldn't fly away fast enough. David asked if I had spoken to Mary yet and I told him about the texts. He thought it would be good to call, and so we did, and it was the right thing to do. Mary was able to calm me down and put me back into a positive space. David started timing the contractions (happening about every 7 minutes lasting 45-50 seconds) and we headed downstairs. David re-inflated my birth ball, got me some water and snacks, and put on Harry Potter (excellent birth partner, wouldn't you agree?). I could feel the comforting confidence slowly return and started smiling again. We gave our doula Tammy a call, and during my call with her I had several contractions very close together, but not intense as I could talk though them. She suggested upping my water intake since the frequent contractions could be a sign of dehydration. I told her I'd let her know when she should head over, she said to call anytime for anything, and with that we said our goodbyes and I began to chug some water.

At this point it was around 8 p.m. and I started letting a few people know that baby was probably on it's way. I also called Mary to ask her how we should prep in case my water were to break. I was feeling good at this point, a little curious as to how long I would be at the 7 minute mark with my contractions, trying not to think about how long this could take, and how to keep myself occupied. It was go time. David and I talked about heading out to the store to pick up some more things we needed, but 2 or 3 contractions later I said "nope, I don't want to go out anymore, I want to get back in the bath". We headed upstairs, started running the water, and my contractions continued to pick up. I used David for support so I could relax my lower body. David breathed through the contractions with me and after a really short bath we told Tammy to head on over.

I got dressed in a nightgown and a sports bra and after another semi-strong contraction I wanted to know when Tammy would arrive. Luckily, on the way back down the stairs, I saw Tammy was walking through the door. I gave a little wave and said hello, then we all headed back to the birth room. This is where labor got intense. It felt like suddenly my contractions were right behind one another, and no matter what I did, they stayed low and strong. Tammy suggested I try to move my hips in a figure eight during the next contraction, but as David supported me to bend my knees into a semi squat the contraction had me crawling back up the front of David...it was not the position I wanted to be in. Quick change of plans and I was on my hands and knees on my birth ball.

**here come the photos!**

 
I had a few more intense contractions and with the last having a pushy feeling at the end I looked over and said that someone should call Mary and that I think she should be here. David and Tammy sounded relaxed and casual and I heard Tammy reply "if that's what you want to do". David got Mary on speaker phone, it was probably after 10 p.m. at this point. David let Mary know what was going on, how I felt it was time for her to head over, and then held the phone up to me as I was starting to have another contraction. This contraction was loud, as they had been getting, I felt like I was roaring like a lioness, and then the push came at the end once again.

The contraction ended and I heard Mary say she was getting in her car, and that she was on her way.

Another contraction came on and after that Tammy asked how I was doing and what I was feeling. I told her "I feel the baby!" Now I didn't really expect there to be a baby about to come out or anything, I just said what I felt, even if it sounded crazy to me, but as Tammy and David lifted my nightgown I heard Tammy say in the calmest of voices, "Ok, Christine. Remember what Mary said at your home visit about what to do if the baby is coming and she's not here yet?"

Oh yeah, that was a pretty big "OH SH*T" moment for me too haha.

Tammy guided me into a better position to slow down the birthing process. The birth ball was removed and I continued to labor on my hands and knees but with my head down on the sofa bed and my butt up in the air. Using gravity to slow everything down and panting through my contractions so that I wouldn't push. I did this through a few more contractions. David was on the phone with Mary the entire time she was driving over, keeping her updated on what was happening, and I just kept thinking that I couldn't believe the baby was already so low because I didn't feel him...and then I felt the "ring of fire" or the stretching of my perineum...I knew he was there. Somewhere around now is also when my water broke.

Moments later I heard Tammy say that Mary and Nichole had arrived. It was 10:50 p.m. There was some issue with the door being locked but Tammy quickly got the midwives inside and I could hear them rush into the room and get right to work. Mary's voice was guiding me through what to do, and I think I was already pushing by that point. Everything was happening fast and yet slow at the same time. I just tried to stay calm and focused even though things felt so surreal. This was happening. I was home, without medication, with the people that mattered most, and I was about to meet Henry.

David and Mary were behind me and I heard David saying that Henry was coming, his head was out, his shoulders were out, and that's when I heard him cry for the first time. Such a relief to hear him cry out to me saying "I'm okay!" A few more strong pushes and Henry James Sohl was born into Davids hands at 10:53 p.m. (just three minutes after Mary and Nichole had arrived).

It was such clear moment in time. Although I was gone during the contractions, somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I was always so very aware and present of what was happening around me. And when Henry arrived it was like the lights came back on and I was back in the same world as everyone else. We were all just hanging out, like friends, except half of my friends were doing a lot of work writing things down and moving things about haha. But it never felt hectic, it felt so incredibly calm as if nothing had even happened almost. I was with Henry, and that was what was most important at that time...my time to meet my son.

My mother came downstairs, as she had been watching our older son Liam this entire time. Apparently he was still not asleep yet and asked for some apple juice. My mom said when she came downstairs she saw Tammy in the kitchen who had told her "he's here!" and she replied, "what do you mean he's here?!" In shock that he had already arrived, so quickly. And so my Mommy got to meet her newest grandson for the first time.

Everything was done right by me, his umbilical chord was cut by his Daddy right by my side, his weight and measurements were taken right by me, and he spent a good amount of time just nursing while his umbilical chord was cut and he received his shot of vitamin K (and didn't let out a single peep when he got it either!).

I had to be reminded of just how fast it all happened. Some people say that fast labors create this whirlwind experience where you cannot catch a break, but I felt like it all happened at a good pace. Maybe it was because I was in such denial about being in labor? Maybe I just instinctively went to "that place" you go to when you are in labor? I don't really know....all I do know is that I didn't feel prepared, or confident, or capable...but I was. The mental scars I had given myself about my ability to birth naturally faded away. I was able, I had the strength, and no amount of preparation was going to change that about myself. Henry's birth was a healing experience, and home was the right place for me.

Over the next few hours we had some alone time to bond with Henry while Tammy, Mary, and Nichole zipped around the house cleaning up, doing laundry, and grabbing us something to eat. Then around 2:30 a.m. Mary talked us through what to expect over the next few days, how to log feedings, pees, and poops, and what to look out for or when to call.

And then everyone left and we found ourselves on the other side of a very anticipated event. Henry was here. We were all together. We were all home.

Thank you to everyone who helped bring Henry earthside. To my friends and family who supported me through my entire pregnancy and reminded me that I was capable and that it would be great. Thank you for your endless positive energy. To my husband David for being the most amazing friend and partner. Always by my side, always reminding me of the strength I have within me. For literally holding me up through some of the most intense moments of my life. I love you so much. To our Doula Tammy, for working her magic and being the calm through the storm. To our midwives, Mary and Nichole, for guiding me and protecting me. And to my Mother, for bringing me earthside, for believing in me, for supporting me even though a home birth seemed a bit out there, and for taking care of me and my family before, during, and after.

You all mean so much to me. I hope those of you who have read this got something positive out of our story. Birth is beautiful and scary and overwhelming and normal. There is no wrong way to bring our babies into this world. The goal is to bring them into this world with support, encouragement, happiness, and most of all, with love.