Transitioning to sleeping alone || week 1

Last Thursday we got Liam's new bed all set up and talked about how awesome it was that he finally had his own big boy bed to sleep in. He jumped all over the mattress and pointed out all the pillows. He brought books over and we read. I tried to make sure we spent a good amount of time in his room so that Liam would understand that his bedroom is a fun, safe place for him to be in.

So how did this week go? Honestly, it felt very similar to him sleeping in our bed. The good news is that he spent every night in his bed, but the bad news is that so did we! There were nights that seemed better than others but as the week progressed it seemed like Liam's nighttime wakings became more and more frequent (not to mention closer together).  It also didn't help that as the nights went by, I could tell that Liam was beginning to get sick. Last night he had a fever and I never got a chance to change out of my clothes and into my pjs before joining him for the night...fun! I will say that apart from last night (which was crazy difficult), I've noticed that I am having more difficulty falling asleep without Liam next to me. I didn't really expect this reaction. I find myself just laying in bed, waiting to hear him cry for me...then I start having conversations with myself like,

"shhhh! your thoughts will wake him up and you don't want that, right? right. oh man...I wonder if he knows i'm thinking about him? no, that's crazy!....this is crazy, I should be asleep right now...*hears Liam start to cry*...crap! I knew he could hear my thoughts"

Yeah it's been weird, but not to worry because we have a new game plan for next week! We have decided that in order to help Liam sleep through the night I am going to begin night weaning. He really doesn't need to nurse at night and if I stick to my guns he'll eventually just pass out once I lay down with him. I think he's giving me the signal that all he really wants is to be comforted, not necessarily nursed, so I figured now is the perfect time to try night weaning. Plus now he's actually asking for water at night! That seems promising ^___^!

Of course this will be difficult since he's getting over yet another stupid cold. This one is particularly awful because his nose is all stuffed up and yet constantly running!? Okay so what's the plan? This is!:

Get Liam into his PJS and read a story (or 7). Talk to him about how he can nurse for bedtime but then "Ni" (as Liam calls it) will be going to bed also and that he can have "Ni" in the morning. Then hopefully Liam will be asleep soon after! David and I will continue taking turns comforting Liam back down to sleep when he wakes up and then return to bed. We expect this to be rough and know that Liam isn't going to be too jazzed about the whole "no ni" situation, but I think once he realizes that he can still nurse during the day, and that he is still getting all the cuddles and love he needs at night, things will start to turn around and he'll start sleeping longer on his own.

From what I've read, night weaning can really help kiddos at this age (around 21-22 months) get more sleep, not to mention allow parents to get the sleep they need also! Here's hoping next week goes well!

Liam lately

This photo was taken last week after I finished up painting his bedroom wall with this mountain backdrop. We hadn't gotten any real bedding for his new floor bed (which he's been sleeping in since last Thursday!) and I was just letting him explore the space and telling him how awesome it was that he had his own bed.

As much as Liam can, and does, drive me crazy…he is my favorite person in the whole world. I love watching him figure things out and find myself wondering what is going on in his head. He has never been the biggest talker but he definitely expresses himself. Lately his vocabulary has really started to grow. He still only says one word at a time, but what really impresses me is his ability to recognize all of the letters of the alphabet. He can say almost all the letters and if you ask him where a particular letter is, he points it out with almost any hesitation. I worry about his speech, but then again I worried about every major milestone until finally it happened (crawling, walking, eating solids)…still, i'm doing my best to focus on what he can do.

When I think about Liam, I think about him running through the house butt naked while David chases him around. I think about how he loves bubbles and would eat all of the clementines and bananas if he could. I think about how he honks my nose and giggles and how he tries to point out every letter from every sign he can find while we are driving around town.  I hear his little voice yell "HAM!" when he finds Green Eggs and Ham in his bedroom. And I love watching the biggest smile form on his face when Ponyo says "Sosuke" for the first time…every time, he can't help but smile, he loves that part. I love Liam, no matter what, and all I want is for him to be happy.

Big News!

Last week David and I sat down together, held hands, gazed into each others eyes with excitement because we decided we were finally ready to announce that we are going to have....another mattress in our house! A mattress for Liam. YAY! He's getting the boot out of our bed. (if you thought I was gonna announce we were pregnant, ha-ha-ha, but I promise you this is relevant material)

We have had no regrets with choosing to be a co-sleeping, bed sharing family unit. For a long time it felt good to be all cuddled up together, even with our chihuahua nestled under the covers by our feet. It felt right. I really do believe that it makes total sense for families to sleep in the same space. As adults don't we tend to find our way back to bed sharing with our loved ones? (girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends, dogs, cats, a good book?) It's comforting. It's natural. We want togetherness.

But that's the thing...as your family expands your bed gets, well, smaller! The more Liam grows the more our sleeping space shrinks. That adorable poop face takes up like 80% of the bed! That leaves David and I only 20% bed....which gives us 10% each!...Okay it gives me 15% and David like...maybe 5% space. Another issue is that David and I don't go to sleep at 7:30-8 p.m. like Liam does. When we do finally crawl into bed with him at 10:30-11p.m. there is a good chance we are going to wake him up. This means spending another 30 minutes just calming him back down (as I'm sure he is pissed he was woken up) and then spending the rest of the night playing freeze tag trying not to move to much or breathe too loud for fear we will wake the beast. The point is, we want our bed back.

The one trouble with co-sleeping (particularly bed sharing) is that when you've been doing it for a long period of time a regular dose of sleep training is rather hard to administer. Nearly 2 years of doing things one way makes it really hard to just say "and now for something completely different!" Believe me, we have tried everything to get Liam to comfortably sleep on his own...what we have found is that maybe we are going about this all wrong. Liam likes space. Liam likes the feel of our bed. What Liam needs is his own huge bed. So we bought him a mattress...a full mattress that will go in his room on his floor.

Will there still be a transition period? You bet! Will it be easier than all other tries? We think so. Why? Let me explain!

Liam still nurses occasionally during the night. Anywhere from 2-5 times...depending on what's happening in his stressful baby life. (sarcasm!) David and I take turns being the soothers. So say we hear Liam wake up from the safety of his own bed. One of us can get up and get into bed with him...and then when he goes back to sleep we can choose to go back to our bed, or just stay with him.

Benefits: He still gets the comforting he is used to. We still stay in bed. We still have the chance to cuddle with him. I can decide if I want to stay and nurse him if I'm feeling all "OMG my baby is getting so big! I only have moments left of this time together! *wehhhh*".

The best part is we don't have to give up being a co-sleeping family...we just get to decide when we co-sleep. It gives us all some much needed space. I am really excited about this and I look forward to sharing our experience with you all. Besides, in the co-sleeping world...we need all the support/help we can get ♥.