It seems we live in a time where we want to make everything as easy as possible. We need instant gratification and we are constantly googling how to get it. Believe me, I've been there. I'm looking for answers via the internet and it only gets me so far when it comes to parenting.
A few months ago, I believe it was back in February, I wrote a post about moving Liam into his own room with his own bed. Almost 3 months later and I have to say that it was the right choice made at the right time. Liam is finally sleeping 8 hours and even waking up on his own and walking to his door to give me the secret signal "i'm awake" by jiggling his bedroom door handle. Ok it's not a secret, he's just trying to escape and go downstairs to play with his choo-choo. That being said there are still nights where he wakes up at 2 a.m. and comes into our bed to sleep with us. I feel good about how things have unfolded. I think the message I have been giving Liam is that we are alway here for him, and just because he is sleeping in his own room, and even though that is really awesome and we are really proud of him being in his own space, he still knows that he is welcome to be with us anytime he needs.
So how did we get to this point? What's the big secret? There is no secret...what we've learned is you just have to follow your baby's lead. Be supportive and don't worry that you are taking a step in the right or wrong direction. Your baby will sleep longer, when they are ready, when their bodies are ready. That's just my opinion.
I'm sure you're thinking to yourself, "oh wow...great advice, Christine".
I know, I know. And I would be lying to you if I said this was an easy transition and that I didn't have my doubts and concerns. I most definitely did.
I don't believe there is a surefire"way" to get your baby to sleep longer without a lot of work and dedication, and sometimes heartbreak. Although many books, and people for that matter, will tell you that you need to "train" your child to sleep...I think the right word is guide. We guide our children through life. We support them and allow them to take chances, do something different, and know that we are there for them. It's also important to take cues from yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed or know that you need space, that's okay too! That's what happened to me. I needed space! We tried several different sleeping solutions, all of which Liam stayed in our bed or in our room, and yet every time we tried to climb into bed, in our room, it felt something like this:
And like clockwork, between 11-12 a.m., Liam would wake up...and it seemed like he did this as soon as our heads hit the pillows. That sense of relaxation was rudely interrupted by our crying son. I started to wonder if Liam was waking up because we were the ones waking him up. Now who is being rude?! I think one of the reasons the crib in our room didn't work was because no matter what, if we made any noise, he heard us. Plus he never really ever slept in his crib...so rolling around and hitting the bars was a great way to wake him up...awesome.
So then the idea came about getting Liam a similar mattress to ours, obviously smaller, and placing it into his bedroom. Everything would feel similar and if we needed to join him, we could. Or if he needed to come back to our room, he could. The first few nights were shaky. He was still waking up around midnight and I started to doubt our genius plan. One of us would go in and check on him, usually David, and it felt like we were back to square one. Then something wonderful happened...
Liam woke up...and went back to sleep on his own! That started happening more and more until he didn't wake up at all! Then about 8 weeks later, I woke up to Liam fussing, took a look at the clock and noticed that it was 5 a.m. What!? Liam slept for 8 hours! I went in and scooped him up, brought him to our bed to nurse and sleep a little longer. This became our routine for the next week or so, until the next big change...not only was Liam sleeping 8 hrs, but he was waking up at 5 a.m., calmly getting out of bed, and going over to his bedroom door. I could hear that he was trying to open it, and so I met him at the door and wished him a good morning. He jumped up into my arms and it finally felt like we made it! This is what I've been waiting for!
Like I said in the beginning, there have been a few nights where he still wakes up around 2 a.m. and that's ok. There are so many big changes happening, his vocabulary and communication is really accelerating, so I believe that has a lot to do with it.
So yea, there you go...what I've learned about trying to get baby to sleep is just to follow their lead. Sleep when they sleep, be there for them, and everything will be fine. I promise.
