Guilt free (pre) preschool

Four months ago Liam started school. Okay, maybe it's not what you'd typically imagine school to be, it's more like an education based play group with teachers. He was all about it! Me...not so much, at least at first. 

As a full-time stay at home Mom I felt some serious guilt attached to sending Liam to a program where he is being looked after and taught by other adults. The guilt washed over me. How could I send him away? He's too young. I shouldn't do it. Then it dawned on me...maybe the thing I really can't do is everything. Maybe I need a break. I am not a teacher, I'm his mother. I am on "Liam call"  24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Maybe I really needed a bit of "me time". I was feeling so overwhelmed by housework and constantly stumbling over the question, "who am I anymore??".  And yet I still struggled with my decision of what to do. The guilt was always there. 

David expressed his concern that I deserve to have time to myself to do the things I'd like to do. Taking a class, or running errands without any holdups, even just sitting down and reading a book. He explained that by having time to take care of the things I want to, and taking care of myself, I could be a better mother for Liam. He wasn't saying that I'm not doing good enough, or that there was room for improvement, he was simply stating that in order to take care of our children, we need to be taking care of ourselves. You can not meet the needs of those in your life if you have not met the needs of your own. (David is currently sitting on top of some mythical mountain with a flowing white beard and I'm pretty sure he's meditating...or playing star wars battle front)

So how did I overcome the guilt of deciding to send Liam to school? I made a list of benefits for Liam!

1. Independence: Liam is already a very independent little boy. He will not hesitate to wander off without me. I've heard this is often a sign of a sense of security in their relationships with their parents. They know they will come back, and that it's okay to venture off into the world. But with that being said, he still comes to me for everything and maybe without me around he will have the opportunity to do more on his own.
2. Listening skills: Sure, Liam listens to me but how well will he listen to others? I think being in a school setting will help him become aware of his friends and teachers and recognize the needs of others and not just his own. Just taking time to stop and listen before reacting.
3. Social skills: This kinda goes along with listening skills. Learning to play respectfully with his classmates and listening to their needs is definitely a skill I know he will benefit from learning.
4. Social systems: One concern David talked about was Liam learning how to follow social directions such as lining up or waiting. Liam doesn't do much of this at home because he really doesn't have to unless I ask him to. It's one thing to control your body, but it's quite another to control your body in a group of tiny bodies. Liam hasn't learned what it means to sit in a circle, or line up with the class. Learning to work together with children his own age will prepare him for the years ahead.
5. School Prep: Which leads me to the last item on my list...preparing him for kindergarten. I know that is a few years away, but going to school for the first time can be kinda scary and a little stressful. Going somewhere you've never been before when all you've known is home...it's an adjustment. Having Liam participate in a program that practices a similar structure to a school setting will help him transition right into kindergarten. He may even know some of his classmates already! 

I wrote this blog post a while ago and came back to it today. I can happily report that school has been a huge success. He has gone through some ups and downs, he had a period where he didn't want to put his name on the board (I know, right? what a 2 year old!), but he also has days where he can't wait to get in the car to go see his "friends and teachers" as he says. It's also been great for me as well. I have a chance to do a bit of cleaning without a tiny tornado following me around. I can go to Target alone. I can go to the grocery store, or post office, grab some coffee with my Uncle, or wherever I need to do without worrying about how to wrangle Liam. Now that I can get more done during the day, even if it's not as much as I want, I have a sense of peace and accomplishment. I guess what I'm trying to say is that no one should ever feel bad about needing some serious "me" time. Reducing your stress levels brings happiness into your home. And a happy home is a great place for a happier family.