Motherhood and me

I was always the girl who didn't care for babies.  I didn't care about having babies or holding babies or swooning over babies.  Babies are fine...just don't bring them out past 8 p.m.  I just didn't get it.  I didn't really care...at all.   It wasn't until meeting my friend Megan and her sweet 3 year old son Caleb that my ideas of motherhood and having a baby changed.  I mean, I always knew I wanted to have a child one day, but that just wasn't a priority.  It never dawned on me that maybe my feelings on the subject had more to do with my lack of knowledge.  I really didn't have much "on site training" except for hanging out with my baby sister when I was 10.  But I never remember seeing my mother breastfeeding her, or really being around for the basic care.  I don't remember her being put down for naps, or explosive poops...that's probably because I was at school.

Becoming a mother, and understanding/just loving babies now in general, is very similar to my experience getting Panda, the love of my life, chihuahua.  I grew up with dobermans.  I understood big dogs, I liked big dogs, big dogs were the only kind of dogs in my book.  Little dogs were yappy, aggressive and annoying.  Who would want a little dog!?  What's the point?  Well after graduating from college and moving out of my parents house I couldn't wait to get my own dog.  Finally!  Then it dawned on me that I couldn't have a doberman in an apartment because they were considered an "aggressive breed"...such B.S.  So I started looking at little dogs and once I learned there was such a thing as a "long haired chihuahua" I pretty much lost it and had to have one.  Now enters Panda and my life has forever changed. I love that dog SO much...he has saved me in so many ways.  I get it...why have a small dog?  Because they are ADORABLE and they can lay on top of you without crushing you, and they really really really like to cuddle...plus, he is insanely protective and even though its embarrassing I kinda really like it.  Now when I see a small dog walking towards me and he starts to bark, I don't roll my eyes.  I just say "hey listen...I get you, dawg"...except without the "dawg" part.  I understand the small dog now.  I am seeing the world differently.

So getting back to pushing a human out of my body and becoming a mother.  I was overwhelmed, I was under educated, but this was my life now and I just had to jump in and learn. So I did, and now I'm seeing the world differently. When a baby cries in public I don't roll my eyes.  I just say "hey listen...I get you, dawg"  And I really do.  When I see a mother breastfeeding in public, I smile politely to let her know that she's not alone. When a toddler is having a meltdown in the check out line at target I try to think happy thoughts because one day that will be me.  I can  now look at someone who is rolling their eyes at me and think "that's ok....you just don't get it"....and maybe one day maybe they will. ♥