♥ Hello Baby! || Pregnancy Announcement ♥

Yep! You read the blog title correctly...we are having another baby! I don't even know where to start when writing this post, there are just so many things I want to talk about. I guess I'll start by saying that I'm just about to be 16 weeks on Monday and so far this pregnancy has been incredibly different from growing Liam!

Natural Childbirth - Why I'd choose it again.

during a contraction at home

My labor and birth plan with Liam did not go the way I'd exactly expected it to. There were medical interventions. It took a long time. I was exhausted. But I never felt like a failure (not completely) and I never felt alone.

I remember making the decision to have a natural birth. Now I think all birth is natural, but I'm talking particularly about a birth without any pain medication. Yep, totally un-numb and feeling it all! When I started telling my friends and family about my choice I got a mixed response. Some told me that I was a total badass and they were amazed at how brave I was. Others...well let's just say they smiled politely and told me "just wait until the pain comes, you'll change your mind!" I never intended to make some grand statement or to show anyone up with my brave endeavor. I had just done my research, and after having a bad experience with a nurse at my doctors office, I made the switch to the local birth center. With every visit (which was generally 1 hour long) I felt more and more confident that I made the right choice. I never doubted it and still feel the same way even after having Liam.

Now if you've had a baby you know that your plans go straight out the window when they decide to make their grand debut. You are not in control. Your body will take over and you can either fight it or you can submit and welcome it. Looking back I totally see childbirth as a team effort. You and your baby are working together. Motherhood starts now! The minute those contractions start it's like your baby is saying "okay, Mom...I really need you to guide me". And you'll be doing that for what seems like the rest of their lives. You will be there, you will guide them, you will take the pain, you will keep them safe, you will love them, you will support them. It's your job. The thing is, when I go over my labor with Liam, I don't remember feeling any pain. Choosing a birth team, my birth family, gave me so much more than the typical over dramatized "you did this to me" birth experience most of us have grown up watching on TV. I was surrounded by love, support, and people who believed in me. I felt calm. I felt well taken care of. I was the one who knew what to do, even if I didn't really understand this idea just yet. This is what I remember:

middle of a contraction. some lasting up to 3 minutes

I remember my husband David, who never left my side, who got in the tub with me, who held me up while I leaned all my weight on him during a contraction. I remember his love, I remember his presence, and I remember him catching Liam as he was born.

I remember our doula Tammy and how she guided me into different positions. How she made sure I was eating and drinking. How she took care of David and gave him a chance to rest and eat. She coached me through pushing. She was our guide through uncharted territory. How very grateful I am to have had her.

I remember our midwife Mary. I remember her words of encouragement. I remember how she would swoop in during a contraction and listen to Liam's heart, finishing up by saying "good baby". I remember how she was my greatest advocate when we transferred to the hospital and I was being pressured to have all sorts of medical interventions all at once. She stepped forward and and protected me. She was my voice when I felt so uncertain. I remember in my moment of feeling most defeated she stepped up and said "Christine, this isn't over. You are still doing this"...and I remember her kissing my forehead as I held Liam moments after he was born.

Most of all, I remember my Mother. I remember how much I wanted her there in case I needed her. I know it was a little out of her comfort zone, but now being a parent myself, I understand her more than ever. In the middle of the night, when I started to feel scared...I remember asking for her, even as I was in the process of becoming a mother myself, I still wanted my Mommy. She was there, she stood by my bed and stroked my hair. She was the voice that spoke up when the doctor said they would like to do an assisted delivery with forceps...she was the one who asked if David could still catch our baby. She was there for me, and I will never forget the comfort and joy of having my Mother with me during one of the most powerful moments of my entire life.

holding Liam for the first time

I grew up being frightened of childbirth. I couldn't wait to get all the meds and just get it over with. It wasn't until I looked deeper into what it meant to welcome birth. To embrace everything you will feel. And to feel like the most amazing superhero that ever lived afterwards. When Liam arrived I remember David coming up to me and saying "today I saw you as a goddess, there is no other woman I would ever want to be with" Birth is powerful. No matter what birth plan you have, what choices you will make, remember that...birth is powerful and so are you.

Like I said before, my birth with Liam wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I needed the epidural. I needed pitocin. I needed an assisted delivery. But not because I couldn't do it. I was never rescued. I did it all. I had my tribe. My birth family who stood by me and believed in me. They knew I would and could make the best decision. And I did. And when the time comes to bring another tiny human into this world, I will choose my team. I will stay home (if baby lets me). I will welcome the contractions as they come, because they will come from me, and I am one empowered mama.

Guilt free (pre) preschool

Four months ago Liam started school. Okay, maybe it's not what you'd typically imagine school to be, it's more like an education based play group with teachers. He was all about it! Me...not so much, at least at first. 

living in the present

I can't believe it's already November 10th! I swear I start every new blog post with "I can't believe" because it's always been so long since I last updated haha. Time is constantly flying by. Halloween was a blast this year even if I almost lost my mind making Liam's spider costume. Fall took some time making up it's mind on whether it really wanted to commit to arriving yet, but after a few chilly days in a row, I think the transition has happened. I'm not complaining about how nice it's been outside during the day, but the nights do get quite cold.

It's always nice to look through a group of photos as one (like the collage above) and see just how much has been going on, even when it feels like nothing is happening. Photos of Panda enjoying the sun in the backyard, going bowling with Liam, trick or treating, taking a morning walk to coffee, Liam trying his best to wait patiently for his parents to crawl out of bed on a Sunday morning...or just David and I taking a good ol' fashioned selfie together. ♥ It's easy to overlook what is happening in the present and only see how sweet those moments were when you look back at the photos haphazardly taken throughout a busy day.

Living in the present is almost an art form. Something that needs to be practiced. I know that personally I can become so entrapped in what I'm not doing, or not getting done, that I completely ignore the small accomplishments that are happening all around me. Life is a long, long staircase which happens one step at a time. Most days I find myself focusing only on the very top of the staircase landing, when what I should be doing is taking a closer look at the steps I have taken that get myself where I am today. That's the problem with living in a world that is so dominantly portrayed through social media. We don't see the stairs, just the top of the staircase. We don't see how hard it was to climb up, we just see the end results. When I share these photos, it's easy to only see how happy we are, or how cute Liam is, but you don't see the arguments, the tears, the doubt. You don't see the struggles. You don't see the hugs that happen, not because we are happy, but because we need to be comforted so that we can feel happy.

That's not to say that we don't have those amazing moments. The genuine laughs. The hugs and kisses. The romantic gestures, and quiet nights. But it takes reminding. It takes constant work to glance back at where we are, and how lucky we are, and to smile at how great life is, even when it's hard.

So here's to living in the present. In taking the time to feel good about where you are at...right now.  Here's to recognizing how far you have come, and the great things that will be happening in your future. Because even if you can't see them, I know that those moments are there. I believe that they are.

What are some things I'm excited about now? The little things that I can make into really big things?

Well, I'm excited that I just started with my 3rd Invisalign tray! I'm excited that next weekend we are taking a big step in our home renovation and knocking through a wall. I'm excited for the trips we are going to be taking in the near future. I'm excited about seeing David when he gets home from work. It's a good feeling, to be excited, to choose to be happy. ♥ Sending lots of love out to all of you!

Invisalign : 1st vlog update!

Hey guys! So I finally went ahead and got Invisalign! So far it's been kinda up and down. I was lucky enough to never really need braces as a child and my teeth have always been relatively straight, or have appeared to be pretty straight my whole life. With that being said, I do have some crooked teeth that have bothered me for a long time. I've been considering correcting my teeth for the past 5 years and this year I decided to make it happen! The way I see it, why not? I can have the super straight teeth I've always wanted by the time I'm 32. I don't want to wait until I'm 40 and wish I had done it a decade ago. Since the process of straightening teeth is a visual one, I thought this would be the perfect time to start adding a few video blog entries, or "vlogs", as the inter web  calls them. Here is my first go at it! I'm already feeling pretty self conscious about posting this because you see me talk, and move, and this is far more "real life" me than any photo I've posted thus far. Hopefully you like it! I even decided to get super real with you guys and show you what I look like at 6 A.M. (spoiler alert...it isn't pleasant! sorry to scare you. Happy Halloween?? lol) Okay so without any more babbling...here's my first video!!
**I just want to say that I don't know what any of the proper names for my teeth are, so if "bottom canine" is wrong...oops! I dunno **

this not that - baby stuff

Having a baby = having baby stuff. You know what I'm talking about! Strollers, diapers, car seats, cribs, carriers...the list goes on and on. It can be very overwhelming when all you want is to have the very best stuff that will make parenting effortless (ha ha ha!)...not to mention conveniently priced and adorably trendy. (I'm still not sure anything that fits into both categories really exists...sorry!)

When it came to parenting you could say David and I were practically helpless. We knew they needed to eat and poop and sleep...and that was about it. We had little to zero experience with how to take care of any of those needs. Also, we had very little understanding of what equipment we would need and/or how to use any of it! We had our work cut out for us. So as many parents-to-be, we found ourselves making a glorious impractical baby registry. Some items on our wish list turned out to be great, while others were utterly useless. Some items we thought we would love because everyone on Amazon said it was the best! Or because I spent too much time on Pinterest, which some of you, including myself, refer to as "fantasy land dot com". The truth is, you gotta test out the water and see what your adorable life sucker- er, I mean..babyyyy, needs most. What exactly fits your parenting style..whatever whatever!  So anyway, I was thinking about those books "This not That" and came up with the idea to do a blog post about baby products I feel are superior to others. Yeah, I'm getting all judgey wudgy today. Let's get started!

** remember, this is a personal preference...what works for me may not work for you **

1. BABY CARRIER vs STROLLER

I had to have my fancy stroller...the one with he click in car seat. It was going to be awesome! There was one big problem though...turns out Liam hated his car seat! AND STROLLER. It wasn't until like 3 months ago that he wanted anything to do with it. How ironic...when they finally kinda like it, they can totally walk and so of course they only want to spend 3 minutes max in their strollers before they are saying "momma stuck! get down!" What saved me? Months and months of baby carriers. I had both a  wrap and a carrier like the one above (thanks Megan!!)...those carriers saved us. Why? Because babies spend the majority of their lives growing inside their mothers. (captain obvious over here) They enjoy the sensation of being tightly wrapped, listening to the sound of their mothers voice and heartbeat through her chest, and just being close. Liam hung out with me that way for a long time...and even to this day, when he gets sick, I throw him in the wrap because my arms are totally weak sauce. 

2. COVERED SPOONS vs STUPID PLASTIC LIGHT SPOONS

This is a discovery I just made like 3 days ago! I remember my sister having the spoons on the left. "safety spoons". Ummm these things are awesome! Ever since I saw Liam using one of these spoons at a friends house, he has barely made a mess and actually loves using his utensils. I think the plastic spoons on the right are fine actually, but I feel like they are too light and it makes it hard for little kiddos to feel out the weight of the spoon (like the ones we use) and so its harder for them to hold it steady. I used to give Liam adult sized spoons, and it worked better, but the spoon part was too big for his mouth. I don't know why I didn't think of using these sooner...and YES I got them in those pretty pastel colors because who cares!

3. DIAPER BIN (diaper genie) vs TRASHCAN

This was another product that it took me awhile to figure out. We started off using cloth diapers with Liam, but living in an apartment makes it extra hard to clean all those stinky, stinky diapers when you are sharing some ancient washer and dryer with 2 other apartments. It was really annoying to find soaking wet diapers sitting on top of the drier because someone else wanted to use it. #rude! I know people make this work, but I got lazy and I won't apologize for it (sorry Liam). We switched to disposables and soon enough, the house started to smell like pewp. The small trash can in Liam's nursery did not hold up...and so we went ahead and purchased a diaper pail that traps those stinkers in until it's full and you can dump it all easy peasy. I have to say, this thing keeps my house smelling a LOT better. I guess it's not totally necessary, but it make my life easier and that's why its' on the list m'kay? **Also, I'm pretty sure we got one of these at our baby shower and totally returned it...ding dongs!**

4. PLASTIC BIBS vs CLOTH BIBS

This is another recent discovery. I've been using and losing cloth bibs for months now. Yes they can come in adorable patterns, or have the face of an owl, but they get GROSS. My son eats like cookie monster (I'm not joking, ask anyone who knows him), and these things just get all sticky and then they get devoured by some cloth bib eating monster that lives in my house. The other day I saw this super spiffy plastic bibs at Target and they are amazing! Not only do they have velcro at the bottom so you can let all the discarded food turds loose before washing, you can actually hand wash them in the sink and they will be dry in like 15 mins...maybe 13. I'm gonna be extra excited about this and say 8 1/2 minutes! I love them. Plus, the bib monster doesn't like them, so it's all good.

5. INDESTRUCTIBLES vs BOARD BOOKS

Ok guys, confession time, I don't actually OWN any indestructible books but I do own a lot of chewed up and partially eaten board books. It's a shame, when you give a baby who is under 1yr a beautiful book and they are like "I'm not going to enjoy the visual stimulus this book has to offer me...I'm just going to eat it because I'm angry that it isn't a boob" <-TRUTH GUYS. You can't give babies anything of value...because it all goes in their mouths. My friend Dominique has one of these indestructible books and they really are perfect for little kids. You cannot destroy them! I've tried..and believe me, I am very raccoon like when it comes to opening things (ask David)...these books are awesome. If I ever have another baby, I will have these in my bag fer sure.

6. KIMONO ONESIES vs PULL OVER ONESIES

Newborns are adorable and I know it's really hard to resist the cutest little outfits to put them in, or again...maybe I'm just a lazy person, but I found out pretty fast that adorable outfits look far less adorable when they are covered in school bus yellow liquid poo. So the hospital provided us with a few "kimono" style shirts for Liam. Okay maybe they didn't provide them...I might have just "taken" them...away...with us...like, when we left the hospital...along with all of the bathroom soaps and ice pads. Anyway, these little shirts were awesome because it was SO easy to get Liam in and out of outfits fast, especially when he made downtown messes. You can get these in organic material and they are just so cozy and cute and...yeah...I like them. 

7. ROCK N' PLAY CHAIR vs GIGANTIC SWING MONSTER

Remember that time earlier in this post when I talked about "recommendations"...somehow everyone is saying that baby swings are amaaazing...but Liam begs to differ. He thought his swing was a torture device. He maybe liked it for 1 week and then his brain turned on and eyes opened up and he was like "NOPE!".  I thought this swing was going to be spectacular and spread peace and joy throughout our home. It made the sound of wales and could swing him in multiple directions...plus he could look at himself! Because his eyesight was so good at 5 days old! On Father's Day we were invited to a friends house for a BBQ and they had the rock n' play chair out for us to use if we needed to set our babies down and go cry in a room by ourselves. Liam really liked it and guess what? It was only $45!...that is a lot less money than the swing that now resides in a box it didn't come in down in the basement. P.S. it will be for sale at our garage sale coming up in a few weeks...P.P.S. this was the worst sales pitch ever.

8. BASSINET vs CRIB

This one really is a personal preference that completely goes with your parenting style. David and I tried to sleep train Liam in his crib (which you know if you read this blog), but it didn't work for us and soon we became a co-sleeping family. But before we started using his crib, we did have a little sleepy pouch, called a "cuddle cove" (that's the real name...go talk to Graco about it) and I put Liam down it that next to our bed for the first 3 months until he eventually outgrew it. I wish I had listened to my Grandma when she asked what kind of bassinet I was getting. Of course I just laughed and rolled my dum dum eyes telling her that people don't use bassinets anymore. HA...actually cribs are dumb and the more I think about it...cribs don't make sense. Well at least not for our family. Liam began sharing our bed around 4 months old up until around 22 months when we moved him onto his own big bed. You can read about that post HERE! Anyway, if I could go back in time I would totally buy a bassinet for him. Overall I'm happy that we are a bed sharing co-sleeping family, but I think the transition into his own space would have been easier if he had his own space close to us and didn't need to get the boot suddenly. So yeah, bassinets for the win!

9. DIAPER BAG vs PURSE AND/OR NOTHING!

Maybe I was one of those srsly ill prepared parents who thought "pffft! I don't need that clearly useful thing!"...oh boy was I wrong. I think diaper bags have a certain stigma attached to them, and we all know that Dads can be pretty picky about what "baby purse" they wanna be dragging around the park with them. David was particularly picking about this one...which was sort of surprising! He kept finding these boring black diaper bags that just looked like a big old sack of sadness. Now I didn't want a diaper bag that looked like it came out of the princess isle at toys-r-us either, so it was a few months before we stumbled upon the perfect bag for us (as seen above). It's been great because now I can have everything I need, personal and baby related, in one big bag and it's been a game changer.

10. FLEXIBLE vs CONTROLLING OVERTIME CRAZYTOWN MADNESS

Okay, here's the last thing I want to say in this post...something that every parent should think of getting before having a baby...and that is some Flexibility. You are not going to be able to control every action that your baby makes, every melt down, or mess...it happens because that's what babies do! (very well!) Figuring out what is going to help keep you as calm as possible while living in chaos town is ultimately going to be the best solution. Find a great parent group, go take some classes with your little one, or find things that you like doing that you can also do with your little one without freaking out. Also, know what you simply cannot get done with a baby in tow. Find time to be alone and do things you love to do. And above all, remember that you this is a learning process...you don't just wake up and suddenly become the best mom ever...you are evolving into who you are as a mother, and as a woman. Change can be very stressful...but it's the one thing that allows you to become the kind of parent, and person you want to be. ♥

X♥O

Christine

What happened in June!

Time for a photo update! I decided just to pull a bunch of photos from my phone from the month of June...easy peasy! I also wanted to say that in a few days (3 to be exact) i'll be celebrating another birthday...the big 31. I thought that maybe it would be cool to start a 52 week project on youtube...just for fun. Who knows, I'll probably just ditch the project almost as soon as I started it because that seems to be the only thing I'm good at sticking to...not following through. I hardly ever update this blog, only like 1x a month. I hope that'll change. There are lots of things I'm hoping for at the moment, but for now...let's just look at some pictures and a funny little video from snapchat.

X♥O

Christine